I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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