I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
you inspire me to be a worse person
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
