Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
