So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Randomize
