I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
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we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
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He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
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