you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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