I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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