I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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