omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
