Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
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