He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
