Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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