OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Randomize
