Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
