We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
