you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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