D3 body, D1 cock
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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