You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
