your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
