Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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