ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Randomize
