If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Randomize
