i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
