I think i sorta joined a cult last night
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
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