Three words: puerto rican gang bang
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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