i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize
