Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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