PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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