my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Randomize
