Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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