I just pynch a tree in the face
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
