I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Terrible idea I love it
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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