i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
babies were throwing up all over the place
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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