Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
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