is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
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