would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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