dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
how do flat chested girls get laid?
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
