So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
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