No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
