so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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