I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize