Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
