WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night