You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
then he tried to convert me to islam
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
whose parrot is this?
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.