you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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