I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...