all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
