he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
