so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
