I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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