I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Randomize
