I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Randomize
