Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
