Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
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