i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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