i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
