I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
