he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize