I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize
