I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Randomize
