and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
