I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Randomize
