last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
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