It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Alive.
So much puke
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Randomize