before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
