dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
