Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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