my room smells like sperm. sweet.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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